Chapter 1: Dreaming Awake

Inside something I call my shell, I fail to recognize the person within.

“Who are you?”

The question echoes in the lone sound of my warm, but cruel voice. How can a voice that’s warm be cruel? When the voice that vibrates comes from electric impulses in the brain, beat to the rhythm of indifference. Oh, how poetic, the irony that is me. The grey matter foreshadowing that logic is being neither black or white in essence, as a living truth. It is the oxymoron of life to be a similar contradiction, of both living but dead inside.

The vibrations from a surface not distant from me, reflects to my side. The beat is like a filled drum, the whole room vibrates. The vibrations come in a subtle yet rhythmic manner. The strong timpani of my surroundings awake me from my sleep. I don’t get up but just listen to the beating like one attending a concert.

My emotions are stable but the opposite exists within me. Located at where all of us naturally process our thoughts. My mind is broken. Rather it is cracking to the point I can’t move or else it all fall apart. What is this irritating crackling feeling within me? It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel good either. It makes me want to scratch my insides, but there is that feeling of not being able to reach.

The cold light hits my eyes. The blinds are barely covering me due to the angle of the sun. It happens to be only 5 and the sun is up. It must be summer solstice doing its job. I wonder how exactly this is gonna work. The only time activity actually starts today is at 7am. I can’t go to sleep. I just guess I will prepare for the day.

The bathroom could be found at the side of my bed. The bed is a high bed and I am situated below. To not make it inconvenient for movement the upper portion is completely without mattress, so I share the bottom. The person beside me is my friend Mao. Her name is sounded like Kapow but instead of using Kap is has M. Don’t try sounding her name like a cat, by calling her Meow because she dislikes it. She might not show it be she dislikes having her name mispronounced.

She is still sleeping.

I might as well just go and brush my teeth. First I have to find my glasses.

I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. In the bathroom an atmosphere hygienic blue can be felt. The cold tiles make the whole place colder than the sleeping area. For the event a lot of people sleep like in a barracks and we share a common bathroom. Girls and boys are separated by two large rooms.

I finish my daily routine and check myself in the mirror. I have really dark eyes, but they aren’t black just red-brown and my hair is pure black but is edge with red under the sun. My characteristics are quite common, just to be proud about it. I don’t stand out unless I smile since I have a quite pleasant looking smile, sadly not many get to see that pleasant form of my face.

CREEEAAAAKKKK.

Suddenly I jolt from the door opening and rush to get back to my bed. I don’t know who it is but this is training so anyone who might be up before seven will have to help cook the food for breakfast. I am lazy so I hid, instead.

Because I rushed too much, I accidentally hit the mattress too hard I reached the metal frame, making my side ache. Even from all the motion earlier my companion is still asleep. So I cover my body, except for a tousle of my hair popping out, using the blanket. At the end of it, I did fall asleep once again, due to the pain that is.

TOC | Next Chapter

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3 thoughts on “Chapter 1: Dreaming Awake

  1. I love the opening. The notion of a voice that is warm but cruel is especially powerful and perfectly captures how inviting our own self condemnation can become. Our own internal monologue is so familiar and dear to us that even the harshest words sound warm and that is why it is so dangerous. Ugly words sound so much more bitter and aggressive coming from an outsider, at least in my opinion. The intrusive sun and the irrational logic you describe was lovely. I look forward to the following chapters.

    Btw I just took a chance at writing my own short story. Would love some feedback if you have time to drop by.
    https://onlyindreamssite.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/distractions/

    • Hi, that was an impressive impression you got from the first chapter. You got a lot of it how I wanted a reader to see it. So very good job. 😀 Sorry for the late reply, my site wasn’t working I am looking at your chapter now. 🙂

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